Reawakening

Wow! It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I've incubated myself in my new place for some much-needed spiritual and creative self-nurturing. At home, I did away with the Internet, watching television, and a lan phone when I moved in August 06. Instead I use my time at home to read, paint, learn new Qur'anic verses for recitation, indulge in new cuisine, decorate (and think about painting using the five gallons of $5 "oops" paint I grabbed from Home Depot), ....and ahhh so often I just go to bed early.

Since my last blog,.... ummm in April 06, lots of things have transpired. I've shedded some pounds, dealt with health issues which indicated a need to slow down and nurture self, entertained the prospect of marriage, confronted old Daddy and Mommy-related issues of jealousy, prayed constantly, had a fender-bender, found a cute duplex, started preparing myself for homeownership, reduced my debt and taken more control of my finances, fasted during Ramadan, almost made the pilgrimage to hajj, gotten bored at work, had an art exhibit, gotten clearer about love, taken on the new hobby of strategic thrift store shopping, confronted fear and anger about the oppression of women, noticed a few more wrinkles, thought often about the prospect of my own death, celebrated the breath of life, given thanks often, gone to the movies (one, Borat, was really really horrible) , and had a couple of dinner "dates".

This week, I started a film production class, became the host for a new TV Show for Muslim women on AIB (Atlanta Interfaith Broadcast) , and I have a 36" x 48"painting that I'm working on, on the easel in my living room.

It feels good to see some growth and movement, I pray for continued growth, movement and purification..... and I'm thankful for it all!

Love,
Akanke

A Bloom in the Womb

Folks may be thinking that we disappeared from the planet, or at least from our creative projects. The second half of 2006 has been full of change and continuing transformation for the 7Adinkras artists (what year isn’t!?). On my own journey, I’ve relocated from Atlanta, GA back to my hometown of Phoenix, AZ. I could say that after making my film piece Hoo Hoo: Losing Mother Tongue that I was inspired to return to my family and immerse myself back into my Chinese heritage -- yes, that is true, and it is also true that I was short of having a nervous breakdown in Atlanta and needed a place to regroup. So… back to the womb.

This fall I teamed with my Gong Gong (my maternal grandfather) to revive my Hoo Hoo’s abundant backyard garden and her plentiful kitchen. Through plenty of sweat, blisters, and intergenerational bickering, yes! we have a backyard full of Hoo Hoo’s heirloom bok choy, Chinese broccoli, spinach, snow peas, and green onions, as well as my additions of several varieties of kale, lettuce, and herbs.

I’ve wanted to plant a garden ever since I nurtured a small plot in my college years, and at long last I am exercising my green thumb -- and literally feeding people, which is what we’d like all of our creative projects to do, yes?

Working in Hoo Hoo’s garden, I marvel that I have become more attuned with Mother Nature, able to note the change in wind, the angle of sun, the ripening of fruit, whereas before I didn’t know what matured in what season, only that when I was hungry, Hoo Hoo stuck a big bowl of steaming greens in front of me. Or gave me a Ziploc bag of fresh jujubes or kumquats.

But without her physical presence, I am coming to know her secrets, her rhythms, her close relationship with Earth -- how to love the soil into overrunning bounty.

We can too often, too easily, become frightened or jealous that others may take the abundance that should be ours, or perhaps steal our ideas -- this notion that there is not enough… But look at a tree that produces fruit, say, my Hoo Hoo’s jujube (Chinese date) tree, which produces hundreds of small, egg-shaped, crunchy-appley-sweet, yellow-red fruits in the late summer. Every one of those jujube pits can produce another tree with hundreds of more fruits.

Everyone who “consumes” an artist’s work is seeded with an inspiration that can be transformed into a creative project. Some seeds grow, some seeds don’t. And those that do, with much light and nurturing, can grow into highly fruitful projects that seed and feed countless others. It’s endless!

As with Mother Nature, we creatives go through cycles of bloom and dormancy -- both of which are absolutely necessary to our work. I’ve been doing a lot of inner processing, with not much outward production unless you count the garden -- hmm, and why shouldn’t we count the garden? At any rate, I am extremely grateful for this time I’ve had in quiet contemplation and trust that what fruits I have to offer in the future will be that much sweeter for what I am learning and how I am choosing to define myself now.

So Much Brilliance!

You know the Marianne Williamson quote from her book Return to Love (often mistakenly attributed to Nelson Mandela): “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

It’s true. When the National Museum for Women in the Arts in Washington, D.C. contacted me with a request to show Hoo Hoo: Losing Mother Tongue at their Mother’s Day event, I went bonkers. I flew around the house looking for something to eat, anything, anything (I think I ended up downing a full bag of organic blue corn chips, two bowls of popcorn, and a chocolate bar), to avoid calmly sitting down and graciously accepting my greatness.

Usually I eat to procrastinate, and this was the first time I realized that I also eat to distract myself from acknowledging my talents. Isn’t that crazy? You’d think we’d all want to sit around thinking how marvelous we are, but we’ve been conditioned -- especially as women -- to focus on our flaws. Perhaps they’re afraid (and we’re afraid) that we’d grow too big for our britches and wreak havoc making some much-needed changes in this world and in our lives.

Congratulations to me! Oh my, I am getting too big for my britches; thank Goddess for wrap skirts and elastic waist trousers.